Monday, 19 June 2017

Mental block

Oh dear, this is odd, I seem to have lost the ability to write a blog post.   Even typing this feels like an upward struggle and I’m not sure why but, of course, the more I think about it the harder it gets. I’m thinking about it far too much now, I know, aargh.   Can’t tell you how many times I’ve tried and then scrapped an idea . How many times I’ve backspaced - even now when I’m writing about it – I mean, I just backspaced there without anyone knowing and took half the original sentence out.  There have been those paragraphs I’ve composed in my head in that sort of stream of consciousness way when I’m doing the washing up or brushing my teeth which seem to make sense – “Yes!” I think, “quick, write it down! ("Yes, when I've dried my hands!") but then when I try, the words just won’t co-operate.

So really, just to say – after a disproportionate amount of time and effort to even string this much together - that I’m still here and all is fine but I’ve come up against a bit of a block at the moment when it comes to blogging.  As soon as I can kick it out of the way, I’ll try again.  Sort of hoping that just saying this will be a start. 

Fuck that backspace and....  

...Publish!




Orange Juice: Rip It Up

25 comments:

  1. Oh, how I can relate to that, C. I'm very jaded about the whole thing, as you know. I do believe, in your case, that it's only a temporary glitch. I hope you're enjoying the summer and that you'll be in the mood to share some new pics, if not text, soon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Marie. I love blogging but I do get these blocks - it's all in the mind! Hopefully will pass soon. I'm going through it a bit with my art too, lots of ideas I want to pursue for my own interest, one particular personal project I've been leading up to, but can't seem to nail it now I have the opportunity. Typical. Hopefully it will all go the other way soon but in the meantime, yes, chance to enjoy some Summer. Hope the same for you!

      Delete
  2. I'm sure those creative juices will be flowing shortly C
    Blame it on the weather

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks CC - hope so - happy to blame the weather in the meantime, though, don't want my keyboard to melt...

      Delete
  3. Panic thee not; write when you write, don't write when you don't wanna.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So true, John, thanks. These things can't be forced. I've been overthinking it too, never a good thing!

      Delete
  4. It's not always easy that's for sure.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm in awe of you daily bloggers, SA. I don't know how you manage it (but v glad you do).

      Delete
  5. When you're ready, we'll be here. In the meantime, I'll enjoy some hit-making OJ. Thank you, kindly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah thanks Brian, good to know. I think the problem is that I have to rely on myself for creative inspiration and self-motivation with work too so whilst blogging can be a much valued hobby/outlet, now and then it can also seem like an extension of work, and I need a little break from thinking that way!
      Rip It Up just came to mind straight away, and sounds even funkier and fresher on replaying for the first time in a little while.

      Delete
  6. As an infrequent blogger myself, I totally get this. For me, the problems are two-fold: time and confidence. I can't do much about the former, but it's the latter that really eats me up. As in, "Why am I writing this? Who wants to read it? What can I add that hasn't already been written elsewhere, by someone with more talent than me?" It has brought me to the brink of abandoning the blog on many occasions, but I always draw back, tell myself that it's for me and me only, that if anyone else gets anything out of it that's just a bonus, and then just post something/anything to maintain momentum. I'm in one of those fugue states at the moment, which is why, later today, I'll post a photograph of some graffiti that caught my eye, probably without comment or exposition. Just proving to myself that the blog still lives, even if I can't wrangle words into anything that someone (anyone?!) would like to read.

    None of which is what I meant to say, which was this: I've only discovered your blog in the last couple of months but am now a regular reader who very much looks forward to you regaining the blogging muse...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Martin, I'm actually really relieved/reassured to hear you get it too and describe the same thoughts and moments of doubt. Time is inevitably a factor but you're so right about the confidence thing too. Maybe I'm still a bit old-school when it comes to doing things publicly; it still feels a bit alien and seems a bigger deal to me than it probably is to the Facebook and Selfie generation. But I must remember that what I post is no big deal to anyone else! And, as you say, it's for me and me only and the rest is a bonus. Like you, I'd rather leave it dormant than close up because things can change in an instant. In fact, just opening up here and writing these replies is already breaking the spell. Maybe we should set up a support group!

      Thanks for your kind words too, that's lovely to know and I reciprocate, please keep at it! I'll look out for your graffiti post... sounds like my kinda thing.

      Delete
  7. Whenever you choose to return we will be waiting with bated breath, it's always a pleasure and surprise to read your posts, for who knows if it will be about a spider or a Spider from Mars ?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh thank you, such a lovely thing to say. Feeling more connected already just from expressing it!

      Delete
  8. Sorry - I hope you realise that I'm usually late to the party because it takes about a day to get the email alert that you've posted something new - But, a fine thing it is too, as from the comments above it is something that we all experience so good to have brought it up. We touched on this earlier in the week over at my place as well - How sometimes we have a massive crisis of confidence after pressing the publish button on a new post or after leaving a comment on another blog. Time and time again I see the old refrain that there is no such thing as a guilty pleasure and if something (music/art/film) has given us some pleasure, it is worthy - Why oh why is it the case then, that I so often cringe with embarrassment after pressing publish and avoid the computer for a good 24 hours in case there has been a tumbleweed moment where no-one has visited. That said people in this little corner are always kind and I don't think I've ever seen a negative comment so we should all have more faith. It is a really brave thing to put your thoughts and your interesting finds out there so anyone doing this should be applauded.

    As for the writer's block, I sometimes find that I return a day later to something and suddenly it all flows but worst case scenario is that you just write the draft and gradually tweak and edit until your happy with it. Always seem to come together in the end.

    You have a lovely blog and I especially like when you share interesting images - Loved the stripes and checks posts, so how about spots? Not sure if you've done that one already but I'm sure you would find some great images. Failing that there is taking us for a walk or reblogging some of the many posts you must have that many of us won't have seen - Think I would enjoy that. In the meantime a bit of Orange Juice is just perfect. Hope the creative juices start flowing soon - I am sure they will!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please never feel the need to apologise! I often don't get round to commenting on posts for days, there's no pattern, just come to things in as and when. Yes, the subject came up at your place and I'm glad it did too as it helped me to get as far as at least writing this and not being alone in my experience. I totally get everything you say - we probably agonise far too much over these things but the sensitivity we have about our own output is reflected in the sensitivity we have towards others' so really we know deep down that it's all fine. And especially in this little corner! I don't think anyone takes anything too seriously (unless warranted) so it's something to bear in mind.

      Thanks so much for the kind words, lovely suggestions and motivation! It seems to be a writer's block thing in particular at the moment (oh, except in replying to comments like this and now I'm all verbose, how did that happen?!) I start to write then just sort of run out of steam, and lose any natural flow. But just writing this is helping, as have everyone's responses. I think many of us know that feeling!

      Delete
    2. I almost mentioned that phenomenon - Finding it no problem at all to rattle off 100 words (or more) in reply to a comment but laying down 100 words for a new post is sometimes nigh impossible! I've decided it's because we're absolved of having coming up with the initial topic, it's someone else's and we're just reacting. I think the most successful posts I've put out there this year are when I asked for suggestions of songs that linked to the previous one - It was more of a challenge and not my choice of song so I didn't feel as if I would be judged at all (not that we should worry about all that). If I remember correctly you suggested Fog On The Tyne and because of how I tackled it, it turned out to be one of my favourite posts, so thanks for that!

      Delete
  9. A blog should be as and when you feel like it. It should be a pleasure, not a chore. I upped my own posting frequency again last year after dropping back to just one post a week while Sam was a baby because that was all I could manage (and even that was a struggle). But I've been finding some of that to be a bit of a chore lately so I'll be shaking things up and trying something different in July. You find what works for you at any particular time.

    I hope we get to see some more of your album cover / artwork comparison posts again soon though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Rol, absolutely agree - if blogging ever becomes some kind of millstone then it's time to ditch it! I'm so impressed at the number of full, quality posts you've been putting out there lately, but yes if it becomes a chore as you say then you need to find something else that works to fit how you feel. Look forward to finding out what your July 'shake-up' will be...

      I've got all the reference material for those cover/artwork comparison posts, so plenty to work from - I was so excited by it all at the start. But it's the actual writing process which seems to have gone AWOL. (Or maybe not... judging by the words coming out now!)

      Delete
  10. Hi C it happens and I quite understand the term 'writer's block' since I started doing songs etc I quite often get blank periods and nothing happens just got no ideas. Then suddenly it just happens. All very strange. I just let it happen now if there is nothing happening so be it. It will come back....just finalising my book of songs 'Drams'.

    You will be back of course you will. Your too good.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks OP! I just wanted to explain my silence but it's been lovely to hear how much others relate to that writer's block thing. Yes, as applicable to songs as anything else, I can understand that, also to art, so a familiar feeling. An Art Director I was once working with advised having a drink (!) before starting out but now that just makes me sleepy, certainly in this weather, so that won't work. Things usually happen when you stop trying, though, so is why I've given myself official permission to pause for a while.

      Good luck with finalising the new book - you're on a roll!

      And you're too kind, by the way...

      Delete
  11. I've been suffering a collapse in confidence on the state of my stylus which has kept me clear of the turntable. It's only this that is stopping me writing a blogpost I tell myself, although really I know there is an element of writer's block too. New stylus installed today so let's see what happens when I approach the keyboard (but it's too hot to do anything, tomorrow then).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Too hot is definitely a factor - also it really is far too hot to do the ironing, wash the car, sort out my accounts, file my nails, etc. Yes, tomorrow....
      And for you - new stylus new mojo? Hopefully!

      Delete
  12. Hi C. Thanks for dropping in at my place. It was good to meet. Don't get fazed when the words won't come. Just allow yourself a little space to breathe, and you'll be posting again in no time. Glad I found your blog. You're on my roll!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Martin, good to meet you too! Wise words about space, thanks - and it is quite freeing. You're on my roll too, look forward to reading more.

      Delete

Please come in, the door is open

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...